Someone commented recently that Jane has done very well and has progressed through (translation: survived) the past seven months far better than they themselves did. Jane almost felt guilty about navigating a difficult time with at least some degree of aplomb. Almost.
The thing is, everyone is different. Now there's a startling revelation, yes? Jane's experience can't be measured up to any other and Jane's reactions can't be measured up to any other because Jane is Jane and has no need or desire to be anyone else. Jane's method of handling challenge and hurt and betrayal is just that...her method, based on what she realizes are her needs. How Jane approaches all of this doesn't mean she takes it lightly. It doesn't mean she wasn't deeply hurt and saddened.
Make no mistake, Jane has her moments. All in all she realizes that humor, even in the midst of hurt, works well for her. She realizes that allowing a moment, an hour, a day of grief and wallowing is good and is even important. She's not trying to push this all away and pretend it didn't happen. It DID happen and Jane is never going to forget that. But the only way to pick yourself up after a crushing blow is to...do it. Pick yourself up. A little at a time and with plenty of self-indulgence when it's needed. But the goal is up and the only way to achieve that goal is to stand and move forward.
Jane has sad days. Very sad days where she pulls on her red USMC sweatshirt (because it's cuddly and makes her feel empowered...which is a rare and valuable combination) and makes a cup of tea and finds something cheerful to read. Preferably something about people who find an amazing love that lasts. And she sighs a lot. And she maybe eats a snack that is more designed to be comforting than nutritional. And she cuddles with the furry friends who always seem to sense her mood.
She does that for awhile but not forever. Once she's had the cocooning time she gets back up and considers her plan. Yes, it's really a plan. She writes things down. She picks new challenges. Some she likes, some she doesn't, but she's up and out there trying them anyway. And so it goes until she needs another bit of time in that sweatshirt.
The point of this blog is not to set Jane up as an example of how we all should be. The point is to offer a glimpse into how Jane is handling it all. And maybe to offer a bit of encouragement or a new idea or two along the way. The point is to show one woman's effort to get up after life delivered a smack down. If Jane's thoughts and actions, portrayed here, give a virtual hand to someone else who is struggling to stand, all the better.
Jane's one hand is extended to you, the reader. Her other hand is clasped warmly by whoever is helping her stand. Life, energy, love, kindness...it all is magnified by passing on whatever good you have to give.
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