When Jane found herself a member of the Sisterhood (being a discarded woman is a bonding experience) she wasn't sure what to do. There didn't seem to be any guidelines or terms of service that she had to read first. One day she wasn't in the club and the next day she was definitely in it. How confusing.
Even more confusing was the amount of input Jane got from other women in the Sisterhood. Or from women who had not been discarded but who were single again and who had plenty of experience to share. Watch out for this...be sure you do that...you will...he will...and then...whew. There were as many kinds of advice as there were flavors of ice cream at the favorite stand where Jane spent quite a few summer hours soothing her inner ice cream beast and listening to her friends.
What Jane realized is that it was all valid advice. Everyone gave their own input based on their own experience and each and every one of them had something important to say. Jane recognized that right away. But sitting there listening to it all was scary and overwhelming. She should do this. No, wait, she should do that. Or maybe both this AND that?
One friend, a member of the Sisterhood, was sitting beside Jane and must have noted the way Jane's head turned from person to person as the input swirled. Or maybe she saw Jane's increasingly crazed expression. Or maybe she just remembered how it was for her when...you know..."it" happened.
She didn't raise her voice to compete for air space. She simply nudged Jane lightly and offered a quiet tidbit.
"You're going to hear all kinds of advice, Jane. I know I did. Listen to it all, but in the end follow what your heart tells you to do."
Jane wants to say a hearty thanks to this friend. Best. Advice. Ever.
It's okay to get lots of different opinions. It's more than okay to hear the stories from others in the Sisterhood and from those who don't know exactly how it feels but do know some related things they want to share. It's helpful. It's beneficial. It's bonding. It's a very good way to learn more about your options.
In the end, though, there is only one person who can decide what is best for Jane. And that is...of course you know this one...Jane herself. All the listening and learning has to mix with Jane's own thoughts. Once that happens, Jane's heart gets involved and only then can conclusions be made.
How to handle it. What attitude to take. Where to turn for guidance. All of it, every bit, is up to Jane. Her heart ponders and ultimately shows her the way.
What Jane has found interesting is that some people will be almost indignant that she isn't following the same route as they did. But others are warmly and even wildly supportive of her choices. So it's a balance and one that works just fine for Jane. She might have come to this conclusion herself...let's hope so, at least. But hearing it from a friend in the midst of the initial pain and upset proved invaluable.
Listen to everything but follow your heart. Exactly so.
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