Jane says yes, Jane says no

Jane has discovered that sometimes you need to give yourself permission to say yes and encouragement to say no. It dawned on her at some point over the last few months that she has not been particularly skilled at either response. Jane, Jane. What will we do with you?

Well, for one thing, we'll encourage more yes and more no. Appropriately timed, of course, and you gentle readers know that appropriate means what is best for Jane. Sometimes it's quite okay to consult the inner self and listen before choosing the yes or no option. Really, it is. Are there any midlife readers out there? Please nod your heads in agreement and then hold that agreement as your own truth. If you are anything like Jane, you've been the very last person you consult about anything.

Let's start in reverse order. Saying no will not cause the earth to shift, the poles to reverse and the seasons to jumble...though, come to think of it, we are having a rather mild winter. Hmmm. But seriously, the power of no is far more positive than it's definition might suggest. Looking inward and recognizing boundaries is one of the best things Jane can do for herself. Whether that means setting aside enough time to honor her own need for physical, mental and emotional cherishing or whether it means acknowledging that something simply isn't her cup of tea, Jane has the right to make decisions based on her own parameters. And she is beginning to realize that it's not just a right. It's an obligation to herself. Because you know what? Nobody else is likely to do so.

Take a moment to absorb that shocking paragraph before moving on to saying yes. In jane's life, the yes isn't about agreeing to help with whatever activity or to read whatever book or to meet a friend at whatever restaurant. Those are easy and don't need to be discussed here. This yes is about Jane being open to abundance in all areas of her life and not just being open to it but believing that she is worthy of it. Something she has discovered about herself and a great many other women out there is that saying that we deserve good in our lives is one thing. Believing it is another matter entirely. Sometimes saying yes is a good bit harder than saying no.

The thing is, we often get what we embrace. Take a moment and think about a person you know who could be described as an Eeyore. You remember the character from Winnie the Pooh. Droopy Eeyore, always sure that bad things are about to happen. And so they do. Now think about someone who draws peace and light and energy to herself or himself and who radiates it in return. What does that person have that Eeyore does not have? That person has embraced the Yes. That person feels it, sees it, knows it, believes it.

Jane practices saying no to honor her own time and inclination, but she has also promised herself to practice saying yes. There's a universe of good and abundance out there. Does Jane believe she is worthy of it?

Yes, she does.