Jane offers kindness...to herself

In the end, only kindness matters.

Jane supposes that could be debated up one side and down the other because there are a lot of things that matter. But kindness is without a doubt one of them. It interests Jane that we often offer kindness to others far more readily than we offer it to ourselves. Why is that? Why are we so often so very negative towards our own tender selves?

If you listen honestly to your own words, you might be surprised and maybe even shocked that this is true. Jane guesses that most readers think they do okay by themselves. She would have included herself in that category as well. But a few days of careful listening taught her otherwise. Jane offers a quick smile, a warm hand and words of encouragement and support to people all around her. Bravo, Jane! But she slips far too easily into the habit of correcting herself. Belittling herself. Diminishing herself. Not much of a reason for bravo there.

Think about how good it feels to have friends or family or someone at work acknowledge our efforts and accomplishments or compliment something about us. It creates a little smile that can linger a good long while. What if we acknowledged and complimented our own selves? What if we took that a step further and encouraged our own dreams? What if...whew, boy, let's get radical here...we created such a flow of positive energy for ourselves that we felt all aglow? And what if that lasted longer than awhile? What if it lasted a lifetime?

Ohhhh, the possibilities! The amazing realm of possibilities when we are loved and supported by ourselves. Jane is a firm believer that there is nothing we can't do with that kind of nurturing. Now a thoughtful reader might wonder why she doesn't offer more kindness to herself if she's such a firm believer in it. Good point, thoughtful reader. You see, Jane knows this logically but still finds it a challenge. And since she fully intends to challenge you, the reader, to create an energy of positive kindness for yourself she will also accept the same challenge.

Jane does not intend to start this "someday". She intends to start this today. Yes, this very day, because Jane is starting a new year and wants very much to have a force field around her. As much as she appreciates the kindness she receives from her children and her friends, she knows that inner kindness has a different sort of strength. And she wants some of that.

Habits take approximately sixty-six days to become established. Jane looked up that information and was surprised because she had thought it was more like one month. Apparently not. In a month you might be fooled into thinking you have a new habit but you are still at risk for slipping back into your old ways. If you can do something for sixty-six days, you can do it for a year or five years or a lifetime. Well, alrighty then. Sixty-six days sounds like a lot, but it will still sound like a lot tomorrow or the next day or the next. Jane knows that the time to start is now.

Day one. Jane offers kindness to herself. It's not that she's been so especially hard on herself, but she realizes that this little bit of negativity or that sigh and shaking of her head over something she has done can add up. Jane wants other things to add up. She pictures each kindness she offers to herself as part of a glowing force field. It's an energy field of joy with sparkles of self-acceptance and encouragement and hopes and dreams and goals all shimmering together and every day the force field grows. It will surround Jane completely in...can you guess?

Sixty-six days.