Everything Jane has discussed in the blog has been very helpful to her and in some cases has been life changing. But she would be completely remiss if she failed to mention the one constant in her life, there before the Big Awful and a steady force throughout. Jane wishes to acknowledge the awesomeness of her friends.
They have been wonderful, these friends. Scattered around the world and throughout the country, these friends have offered hope and encouragement, outrage and affection and always a steady long distance shoulder whenever Jane might need it. And the local friends? Who could ask for better? These terrific women have been Jane's sounding board, her cheering squad and a source for advice and entertainment. Jane will never forget the evening that cars pulled up at the favorite spot for ice cream and conversation and women jumped out and rushed to envelop her in hugs and support. She will also never forget a particular utterance from one of those friends. It was quite a surprise and this many months later Jane still chuckles when she remembers.
Jane is blessed. She knows this and thanks her Creator for the reminder that men might come and go but the friendship of women endures and sustains. Okay, that might not be the exact message her Creator had in mind, but at the moment Jane feels it's quite pertinent.
Sometimes shared laughter is all Jane needs. Sometimes maybe a movie, with popcorn being munched while the previews are discussed. Sometimes it's a volunteer activity or coffee with the group or a book discussion (here's a shout out to Jane's book club!) or a meal. And sometimes a meal turns into a conversation with lasting benefits, which is what happened last night when Jane told a friend that it was daunting to feel so replaceable. Her friend offered the opinion that just because Jane was replaced so readily does not mean that she should define herself as someone who is readily replaced.
This might possibly have made more sense over pad thai, but say it out loud a time or two and you'll understand why it made such a big impression on Jane. That little statement, offered over Thai food on a Saturday evening is something Jane will hold very close to her heart. And the friend who said it? She is also held close to Jane's heart. Because that tidy bit of wisdom sums it all up. And the fact that it was given to her by a friend makes it even better. Jane's friends, bodacious babes all of them, are valued beyond what she could possibly describe here. Though she is making a commendable attempt to do just that!
With credit given to the Beatles...
What do I do when my love is away?
(Does it worry you to be alone)
How do I feel by the end of the day?
(Are you sad because you're on your own)
No, I get by with a little help from my friends.
Thank you, my friends.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Friday, March 9, 2012
Turning the negative around
How do you respond when faced with a zing? Jane considers a zing to be an emotional hurt, but this term could apply to any aspect of your life. However you define it, a zing is a negative. So what is your response?
Well, when it comes to relationship issues and what Jane is experiencing, it's all too easy to wallow in the zing. Dwell on it. Allow it to fill the moment, the day, the heart, the essence. And since this is a negative, that means filling the moment, the day, the essence and the heart with negative energy. Jane chooses to avoid that.
Notice the word there? Chooses? Because as Jane has learned and shared here already, there isn't always much she can choose about what is happening in her life. But she CAN choose her response. So this is more of that kind of thinking. How to turn the zing into something positive and not something she pulls out each day to examine in careful detail. What Dick said, what Dick did...these are Dick's actions and his choices and he has to own them. He can examine them in careful detail, if he were inclined to...which he most certainly is not. But for Jane, the best way to handle these zings is to challenge herself.
Everyone's got their own range of options here. Jane chooses physical challenges and mental challenges and also is experimenting with creative challenges. This might sound like a lot, but she doesn't run around in a constant state of exploration. She's building her own strengths and deciding what works best. And because her situation is particularly overwhelming at times, she needs a good supply of challenges and successes.
It pleases Jane to set the challenge and meet it according to her own terms. For instance, starting the P90X Arms and Shoulders workout was in specific response to something that zinged her in a significant way. This workout is a significant challenge. She's doing well with it and every single time she lifts those weights she feels more and more powerful and the power grows greater than the zing. This works for Jane. It might not work for everyone, but it works for her.
The mental challenge comes from learning something new. Jane will be training this summer to achieve her Reiki Master certification. To prepare for that, she is reading and studying, reviewing and sending out a whole lot of Reiki energy. This is all about Jane, not about Dick and not about his choices. Again, that keeps Jane's focus on positive growth. Same thing with creative challenges. What hobby might be worth pursuing? What talent should be dusted off and explored again or encouraged as a new interest?
When you draw your attention back to yourself and then spread it outward in whatever new and interesting direction appeals, you are changing the negative into something far better. It is very hard to dwell on the source of your pain when you are filling up with so many other things. Positive things. Positive energy. And the act of doing those things will create more possibilities and bring them right into your life. But there has to be space for them...which is why you are pushing out the zings and making room for the good stuff.
Jane realizes this is an investment in herself. She also realizes that she is worth it. And you are, too.
Well, when it comes to relationship issues and what Jane is experiencing, it's all too easy to wallow in the zing. Dwell on it. Allow it to fill the moment, the day, the heart, the essence. And since this is a negative, that means filling the moment, the day, the essence and the heart with negative energy. Jane chooses to avoid that.
Notice the word there? Chooses? Because as Jane has learned and shared here already, there isn't always much she can choose about what is happening in her life. But she CAN choose her response. So this is more of that kind of thinking. How to turn the zing into something positive and not something she pulls out each day to examine in careful detail. What Dick said, what Dick did...these are Dick's actions and his choices and he has to own them. He can examine them in careful detail, if he were inclined to...which he most certainly is not. But for Jane, the best way to handle these zings is to challenge herself.
Everyone's got their own range of options here. Jane chooses physical challenges and mental challenges and also is experimenting with creative challenges. This might sound like a lot, but she doesn't run around in a constant state of exploration. She's building her own strengths and deciding what works best. And because her situation is particularly overwhelming at times, she needs a good supply of challenges and successes.
It pleases Jane to set the challenge and meet it according to her own terms. For instance, starting the P90X Arms and Shoulders workout was in specific response to something that zinged her in a significant way. This workout is a significant challenge. She's doing well with it and every single time she lifts those weights she feels more and more powerful and the power grows greater than the zing. This works for Jane. It might not work for everyone, but it works for her.
The mental challenge comes from learning something new. Jane will be training this summer to achieve her Reiki Master certification. To prepare for that, she is reading and studying, reviewing and sending out a whole lot of Reiki energy. This is all about Jane, not about Dick and not about his choices. Again, that keeps Jane's focus on positive growth. Same thing with creative challenges. What hobby might be worth pursuing? What talent should be dusted off and explored again or encouraged as a new interest?
When you draw your attention back to yourself and then spread it outward in whatever new and interesting direction appeals, you are changing the negative into something far better. It is very hard to dwell on the source of your pain when you are filling up with so many other things. Positive things. Positive energy. And the act of doing those things will create more possibilities and bring them right into your life. But there has to be space for them...which is why you are pushing out the zings and making room for the good stuff.
Jane realizes this is an investment in herself. She also realizes that she is worth it. And you are, too.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Jane explores the concept of karma
Jane hears a lot about karma these days. And she admits that there is a strong temptation to wish that karma would come around and bite Dick on the caboose. However, Jane also knows that she had best be concentrating on her own karma. There are many occasions in life where it is wise to tend to your own garden. Karma definitely falls into that category.
So what IS karma, anyway? If you translate right from the Sanskrit root, karma means "action". So anything we say or do or think is karma. But in the yoga tradition it's defined a bit differently. There are three parts to the definition. First, karma is the actions we are committing now, in the present. Second, karma is the effect that our past actions have in our current life. Third, karma is our destiny.
This is summed up by the following statement: actions have consequences. In the Bible, there's a phrase for that. "As you sow, so shall you reap." No matter how you put it, the meaning is the same. What goes around, comes around.
In the spirit of tending to your own garden, Jane offers a little saying that keeps the gardener focused on her karma rather than the behavior...good or bad...of others. "Sow a thought, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny."
Really, all we can do...all we have ever been able to do...is work on ourselves and our own karma. Starting from the inside out, this all begins with thought. If thoughts are a template used to model our lives, what sort of template do you want? And if actions follow thoughts...okay, this is logical...and actions become habits and habits build to form a character...well, what sort of character do you want? And then if character builds to destiny, how do you want that to go?
Jane knows how easy it is to think about what other people did and what that means in her life. Starting from childhood, there are many reasons to act a certain way, to be a certain person, to think certain thoughts. To make that...events that happened to you in childhood or at any other time in life...the framework for your thoughts, habits, character, destiny.
But seriously? This is one area of your life where you have far more control than you might realize. No matter what has gone on in your life or is still going on, you can turn inward and start creating. Yes, creating. From the inside out. It starts with a thought.
Actions have consequences. Actions begin with a concept, a need, a desire, an impulse, an urge, a justification. You can sow thoughts that will reap a glorious harvest in terms of your karma.
Or...not.
So what IS karma, anyway? If you translate right from the Sanskrit root, karma means "action". So anything we say or do or think is karma. But in the yoga tradition it's defined a bit differently. There are three parts to the definition. First, karma is the actions we are committing now, in the present. Second, karma is the effect that our past actions have in our current life. Third, karma is our destiny.
This is summed up by the following statement: actions have consequences. In the Bible, there's a phrase for that. "As you sow, so shall you reap." No matter how you put it, the meaning is the same. What goes around, comes around.
In the spirit of tending to your own garden, Jane offers a little saying that keeps the gardener focused on her karma rather than the behavior...good or bad...of others. "Sow a thought, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny."
Really, all we can do...all we have ever been able to do...is work on ourselves and our own karma. Starting from the inside out, this all begins with thought. If thoughts are a template used to model our lives, what sort of template do you want? And if actions follow thoughts...okay, this is logical...and actions become habits and habits build to form a character...well, what sort of character do you want? And then if character builds to destiny, how do you want that to go?
Jane knows how easy it is to think about what other people did and what that means in her life. Starting from childhood, there are many reasons to act a certain way, to be a certain person, to think certain thoughts. To make that...events that happened to you in childhood or at any other time in life...the framework for your thoughts, habits, character, destiny.
But seriously? This is one area of your life where you have far more control than you might realize. No matter what has gone on in your life or is still going on, you can turn inward and start creating. Yes, creating. From the inside out. It starts with a thought.
Actions have consequences. Actions begin with a concept, a need, a desire, an impulse, an urge, a justification. You can sow thoughts that will reap a glorious harvest in terms of your karma.
Or...not.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Who do YOU think you are?
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Years ago, in 1884, a baby girl was born. Though the times called for young ladies to be decorative debutants, to be well-versed in the ways of etiquette and propriety and not particularly so in the ways of politics and social reform, this baby girl grew into a woman who was decidedly and unabashedly different from what was considered the norm.
She was active in the Social Reform movement of the Progressive Era. She argued for fair labor practices. This young lady found a group of debutantes who were interested in helping others. They called themselves the Junior League.
One day, while on a train, this young woman met someone who would become her husband. Her uncle, who was then the President of the United States, walked her down the aisle at their wedding. Her husband, waiting for her at the alter, was also destined to become President.
As a political spouse, this woman was able to fulfill her social obligations and still remain very active in what concerned her the most. Ultimately she developed an independent career that included writing, teaching and reform politics. When her husband became the President of the United States, she gave up her own political affiliations but remained politically active...though often in the background. She supported her husband's interests and balanced the expectations associated with being First Lady with her own interests and pursuits.
In her twelve years as First Lady, this woman gave many press conferences and insisted that publications send only female reporters. She wrote a monthly magazine column and a newspaper column. She was a radio host, a lecturer and a public speaker. She was an author.
Because of her appearance and her disconcertingly direct manner, it was not unusual for this talented and progressive woman to be the target of unkind comments. She was far taller than average. She was no beauty. Her voice, her teeth and her clothing attracted caricature. Her husband was rumored to be having a relationship with another woman. Her views were not always embraced by a society opposed to change.
What sets this woman apart is that she allowed no one to put her down and keep her down. She believed strongly in the causes she supported and was determined to make a difference. Was she aware of what people said? Certainly she must have been. Did it hurt her? Quite possibly, but she carried in her heart the knowledge that those views did not sum up the value of her life.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt did not give her consent. She did not give that power to others. She believed in herself and in doing so, she was able to pursue her dreams and direct her life's energy in ways that are truly impressive.
There are times when the actions of others leave us feeling cast aside, thrown away, not good enough, of little value. Inferior. Their actions are their choices, but our reactions remain always ours. It is within our power, even when we feel low and powerless, to retain our own sense of value and worth and purpose. No one can take that from us, ever. Not without our consent.
Jane chooses to follow Eleanor Roosevelt's example. She stands tall (though admittedly a good many inches shorter than that particular lady). She believes in herself. And she will not give consent to anyone who, knowingly or not, attempts to put her down.
Bravo, Eleanor. And thank you.
Years ago, in 1884, a baby girl was born. Though the times called for young ladies to be decorative debutants, to be well-versed in the ways of etiquette and propriety and not particularly so in the ways of politics and social reform, this baby girl grew into a woman who was decidedly and unabashedly different from what was considered the norm.
She was active in the Social Reform movement of the Progressive Era. She argued for fair labor practices. This young lady found a group of debutantes who were interested in helping others. They called themselves the Junior League.
One day, while on a train, this young woman met someone who would become her husband. Her uncle, who was then the President of the United States, walked her down the aisle at their wedding. Her husband, waiting for her at the alter, was also destined to become President.
As a political spouse, this woman was able to fulfill her social obligations and still remain very active in what concerned her the most. Ultimately she developed an independent career that included writing, teaching and reform politics. When her husband became the President of the United States, she gave up her own political affiliations but remained politically active...though often in the background. She supported her husband's interests and balanced the expectations associated with being First Lady with her own interests and pursuits.
In her twelve years as First Lady, this woman gave many press conferences and insisted that publications send only female reporters. She wrote a monthly magazine column and a newspaper column. She was a radio host, a lecturer and a public speaker. She was an author.
Because of her appearance and her disconcertingly direct manner, it was not unusual for this talented and progressive woman to be the target of unkind comments. She was far taller than average. She was no beauty. Her voice, her teeth and her clothing attracted caricature. Her husband was rumored to be having a relationship with another woman. Her views were not always embraced by a society opposed to change.
What sets this woman apart is that she allowed no one to put her down and keep her down. She believed strongly in the causes she supported and was determined to make a difference. Was she aware of what people said? Certainly she must have been. Did it hurt her? Quite possibly, but she carried in her heart the knowledge that those views did not sum up the value of her life.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt did not give her consent. She did not give that power to others. She believed in herself and in doing so, she was able to pursue her dreams and direct her life's energy in ways that are truly impressive.
There are times when the actions of others leave us feeling cast aside, thrown away, not good enough, of little value. Inferior. Their actions are their choices, but our reactions remain always ours. It is within our power, even when we feel low and powerless, to retain our own sense of value and worth and purpose. No one can take that from us, ever. Not without our consent.
Jane chooses to follow Eleanor Roosevelt's example. She stands tall (though admittedly a good many inches shorter than that particular lady). She believes in herself. And she will not give consent to anyone who, knowingly or not, attempts to put her down.
Bravo, Eleanor. And thank you.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Forgiveness
Forgiveness does not come easy. Jane isn't sure it really should be easy. Sometimes what holds the most value is what we achieve after a struggle. True forgiveness holds a great value, indeed. And true forgiveness has nothing at all to do with the flippant exchange of "sorry" and "don't worry about it". Because you know what? True forgiveness comes whether or not the apology is offered.
That's the part that involves a struggle. When we have been hurt, when we have been wronged, it's a comfort to wrap our righteous indignation around like a secure blanket. After all, we were the ones hurt, right? We were the ones disappointed or crushed or abandoned. We should wrap up snugly and wait for the sincere apology.
But what if it never comes? No matter what we might wish, sometimes people do not regret their actions and they do not want to take responsibility for the hurt they caused. We can wait, wrapped up against further harm. We can wait, wondering if they will ever come and ask our forgiveness. We can wait...forever.
Well, sure. Technically we can wait forever. But how does that serve us? If we are so filled with waiting and hurt and the need for that apology and anger and sadness, how exactly does that serve us? Jane realizes that anyone in this position might feel entitled to those emotions. She knows this as well as anyone. She also knows that if she allows herself to be filled with those thoughts, those feelings, the hurt and resentment and the waiting for something that might not ever come, she can't be filled with something else.
What else? Ohhh...lots of things. Joy. Wonder. Peace. That's a big one, peace. Enthusiasm. Possibilities. Yes, possibilities sums it up nicely. Jane has a favorite affirmation that talks about possibilities.
I rejoice in my unlimitedness and know that before me lies the totality of possibilities in every area.
Wowza, Jane thinks every time she reads that one. Wowza. Unlimitedness! Totality of possibilities! But if Jane limits herself by clinging to that which she can't ever change, how is there room for all those possibilities?
Of course there isn't. That's where forgiveness comes in. Something that Jane learned is that forgiveness does not mean what someone did was okay. It's not the same as saying you don't mind about the hurt and the betrayal. This is not about going up to the other person and telling them everything is super duper, thanks, and golly gee you wish them well. Nope. This is about acknowledging the pain and then letting it go. Releasing it. Making room for all those wonderful possibilities.
Forgiveness does not mean the other person isn't responsible for his or her actions. Forgiveness means that those actions are no longer going to fill you with sadness and hurt and pain. You don't like what happened, you wish it had not happened, but it did. Nothing can change that.
Forgiveness is a choice. It's a deliberate choice and it is not easy. But to move on fully, to embrace whatever wonders the universe has in store for you, forgiveness has to take over the hurt in your heart.
Jane wants to rejoice in her unlimitedness. She wants to be filled with the totality of her possibilities. Forgiveness is a challenge, Jane admits, but the reward is far greater than clinging to the cloak of sadness.
When you forgive, you in no way change the past--but you sure do change the future.
~Bernard Meltzer
It's your future, Jane realizes. What do you want to fill it?
That's the part that involves a struggle. When we have been hurt, when we have been wronged, it's a comfort to wrap our righteous indignation around like a secure blanket. After all, we were the ones hurt, right? We were the ones disappointed or crushed or abandoned. We should wrap up snugly and wait for the sincere apology.
But what if it never comes? No matter what we might wish, sometimes people do not regret their actions and they do not want to take responsibility for the hurt they caused. We can wait, wrapped up against further harm. We can wait, wondering if they will ever come and ask our forgiveness. We can wait...forever.
Well, sure. Technically we can wait forever. But how does that serve us? If we are so filled with waiting and hurt and the need for that apology and anger and sadness, how exactly does that serve us? Jane realizes that anyone in this position might feel entitled to those emotions. She knows this as well as anyone. She also knows that if she allows herself to be filled with those thoughts, those feelings, the hurt and resentment and the waiting for something that might not ever come, she can't be filled with something else.
What else? Ohhh...lots of things. Joy. Wonder. Peace. That's a big one, peace. Enthusiasm. Possibilities. Yes, possibilities sums it up nicely. Jane has a favorite affirmation that talks about possibilities.
I rejoice in my unlimitedness and know that before me lies the totality of possibilities in every area.
Wowza, Jane thinks every time she reads that one. Wowza. Unlimitedness! Totality of possibilities! But if Jane limits herself by clinging to that which she can't ever change, how is there room for all those possibilities?
Of course there isn't. That's where forgiveness comes in. Something that Jane learned is that forgiveness does not mean what someone did was okay. It's not the same as saying you don't mind about the hurt and the betrayal. This is not about going up to the other person and telling them everything is super duper, thanks, and golly gee you wish them well. Nope. This is about acknowledging the pain and then letting it go. Releasing it. Making room for all those wonderful possibilities.
Forgiveness does not mean the other person isn't responsible for his or her actions. Forgiveness means that those actions are no longer going to fill you with sadness and hurt and pain. You don't like what happened, you wish it had not happened, but it did. Nothing can change that.
Forgiveness is a choice. It's a deliberate choice and it is not easy. But to move on fully, to embrace whatever wonders the universe has in store for you, forgiveness has to take over the hurt in your heart.
Jane wants to rejoice in her unlimitedness. She wants to be filled with the totality of her possibilities. Forgiveness is a challenge, Jane admits, but the reward is far greater than clinging to the cloak of sadness.
When you forgive, you in no way change the past--but you sure do change the future.
~Bernard Meltzer
It's your future, Jane realizes. What do you want to fill it?
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Butterfly Jane
Or...the value of cocooning.
Cocooning defined as smothering or cocooning defined as sequestered in denial are not good. But cocooning defined as taking time to grow and change and emerge as a butterfly? Very good indeed. That's the type of cocooning that Jane endorses. Sometimes it's one long process and sometimes it comes in stages. A bit of exploration, a bit of time to consider. Maybe the butterfly retreats now and then, when that quiet time is needed.
Jane thinks that society comes at us with an all or nothing mentality that can be overwhelming. And along the way, quiet contemplation has become an antiquated notion. With the constant bombardment of noise and expectations, is it any wonder that we feel frazzled on occasion? In need of some comfort routines? Some self-nurturing?
Well, sure. Sometimes it's in response to emotional hurt. Sometimes it's work related or friend related or family related. The reasons don't matter. They are all valid. What matters is the need to cocoon and the ability to accept that need and to make it happen.
Jane's own cocooning ritual involves books of motivation, a favorite yoga routine and the comfort of a steaming mug of tea. If that doesn't do the trick, her dvds of Modern Family (seasons one and two!) and a cozy dinner of whatever she wants will leave her feeling nicely balanced. Yes, she does realize that watching tv does not count as quiet contemplation. But sometimes cocooning is about emotional growth and sometimes it's about good, refreshing laughter. At least in Jane's world it is.
Now if hearts have been broken and lives have been changed, cocooning takes on a new meaning. Ir provides a safe haven for a butterfly just stretching new wings. And there is nothing wrong with peeking out and trying the wings for a bit...and then drawing back to consider how that felt. Recovery isn't something that happens at the same time and the same pace for everyone. Cocooning is a way of honoring your own pace.
Not everything is instant in today's world. Not everything. So if you, like Jane, are in the process of growing new wings you can take comfort in your own cocoon. Be gentle with yourself and don't worry if the butterfly next door is flying out across the field already. You'll get there, in your own time and at your own pace. One day you'll stretch those wings and soar.
And even then you'll be glad for the shelter of your own cocoon.
Cocooning defined as smothering or cocooning defined as sequestered in denial are not good. But cocooning defined as taking time to grow and change and emerge as a butterfly? Very good indeed. That's the type of cocooning that Jane endorses. Sometimes it's one long process and sometimes it comes in stages. A bit of exploration, a bit of time to consider. Maybe the butterfly retreats now and then, when that quiet time is needed.
Jane thinks that society comes at us with an all or nothing mentality that can be overwhelming. And along the way, quiet contemplation has become an antiquated notion. With the constant bombardment of noise and expectations, is it any wonder that we feel frazzled on occasion? In need of some comfort routines? Some self-nurturing?
Well, sure. Sometimes it's in response to emotional hurt. Sometimes it's work related or friend related or family related. The reasons don't matter. They are all valid. What matters is the need to cocoon and the ability to accept that need and to make it happen.
Jane's own cocooning ritual involves books of motivation, a favorite yoga routine and the comfort of a steaming mug of tea. If that doesn't do the trick, her dvds of Modern Family (seasons one and two!) and a cozy dinner of whatever she wants will leave her feeling nicely balanced. Yes, she does realize that watching tv does not count as quiet contemplation. But sometimes cocooning is about emotional growth and sometimes it's about good, refreshing laughter. At least in Jane's world it is.
Now if hearts have been broken and lives have been changed, cocooning takes on a new meaning. Ir provides a safe haven for a butterfly just stretching new wings. And there is nothing wrong with peeking out and trying the wings for a bit...and then drawing back to consider how that felt. Recovery isn't something that happens at the same time and the same pace for everyone. Cocooning is a way of honoring your own pace.
Not everything is instant in today's world. Not everything. So if you, like Jane, are in the process of growing new wings you can take comfort in your own cocoon. Be gentle with yourself and don't worry if the butterfly next door is flying out across the field already. You'll get there, in your own time and at your own pace. One day you'll stretch those wings and soar.
And even then you'll be glad for the shelter of your own cocoon.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Jane silences the monkey chatter
Meditation takes practice. Getting into a comfortable position is the easy part. Not too comfortable, mind you. Jane finds that attempting to meditate while reclining results in a pleasant nap but nothing else. She also has discovered that sitting with her legs crossed (criss-cross applesauce, as the little ones in elementary school say) is all well and good but she needs to be leaning against something. The goal is to find a position where you can relax and not have your thoughts drifting to the various protests of your body.
Because drifting thoughts are the biggest challenge. It's called monkey chatter and getting those monkeys to settle down also takes practice. Jane's first few attempts were relaxing, indeed, for about ten seconds. After that random thoughts zipped through her head with unfortunate speed.
"Ahhh." Jane relaxed. Wasn't this nice?
"What am I making for dinner?"
"Shhh. Ahhhh."
"I've got to...I should...I wonder if..."
"SHHH! Darn it! I said AHHHHH!"
Now the goal of meditation is to go beyond the monkey chatter into that gentle zone where calm prevails and focus and energy meld into something quite impressive. Jane found it difficult to deny monkey chatter completely and was frustrated until she read more about it. Got monkey chatter? Acknowledge it and let it go. It's there, okay, and now move beyond it.
So why meditate?
Maybe meditation isn't so mysterious after all. Neuroscientists have found that meditators shift their brain activity to different areas of the cortex - brain waves in the stress-prone right frontal cortex move to the calmer left frontal cortex. This mental shift decreases the negative effects of stress, mild depression and anxiety. There is also less activity in the amygdala, where the brain processes fear.
That's the official word, for people who like to have something a little more concrete than "because it feels good".
If you practise regularly, the benefits of meditation will promote a sense of calm and control, you’ll feel far more relaxed and happy. Your ability to concentrate will be greater. You won’t become stressed about things and you’ll feel more peaceful and relaxed about everything. One of the greatest benefits of meditation is learning to go with the flow and things that used to irritate you before simply become insignificant.
That next bit was something Jane found on a meditation website. Same basic thing, just less scientific. From Jane's point of view, which definitely tends toward the non-scientific, meditation is nothing short of amazing. Jane is a meditative newbie. She started for reasons that are obvious to any reader of this blog. And she started right from the most basic starting point, monkey chatter and all.
After struggling a bit Jane decided to see if YouTube might offer some guided meditation. Indeed, they did. Ten minutes, maybe more and maybe less. With a little experimentation to find the right voice and music that appealed, Jane got her jump start. Her opinion? Very good stuff.
And Jane believes that the articles do not exaggerate. She feels much calmer when she meditates regularly. Things that were a big deal are less of a big deal and if they soar to bigness once again she can regroup more readily. Jane found that along with the benefits already listed she got something else from meditation. Something that she hadn't expected.
What, what? Jane knows the readers are clamoring for her to reveal what she got. What she got was an awareness of herself and...even better...an acceptance of herself. This is no little thing. jane feels that meditation has been a significant part of her healing and the discovery of (and acceptance of) her Jane-ness.
Because, you know, when you quiet your mind and release the monkey chatter and relax into the moment you have nothing to hide behind. It is just you right then, just you and the beautiful energy that comes from whatever source you embrace. And it is joyful and it is peaceful and it is loving.
And it is life enhancing. Jane would say life changing, but some people don't want to be caught up in any kind of change. So she'll tell you with the certainty of one who has experienced it, that meditation is life enhancing.
Jane is going to take a moment now to go quiet her own monkey chatter. Inhale...exhale...ahhhh.
Because drifting thoughts are the biggest challenge. It's called monkey chatter and getting those monkeys to settle down also takes practice. Jane's first few attempts were relaxing, indeed, for about ten seconds. After that random thoughts zipped through her head with unfortunate speed.
"Ahhh." Jane relaxed. Wasn't this nice?
"What am I making for dinner?"
"Shhh. Ahhhh."
"I've got to...I should...I wonder if..."
"SHHH! Darn it! I said AHHHHH!"
Now the goal of meditation is to go beyond the monkey chatter into that gentle zone where calm prevails and focus and energy meld into something quite impressive. Jane found it difficult to deny monkey chatter completely and was frustrated until she read more about it. Got monkey chatter? Acknowledge it and let it go. It's there, okay, and now move beyond it.
So why meditate?
Maybe meditation isn't so mysterious after all. Neuroscientists have found that meditators shift their brain activity to different areas of the cortex - brain waves in the stress-prone right frontal cortex move to the calmer left frontal cortex. This mental shift decreases the negative effects of stress, mild depression and anxiety. There is also less activity in the amygdala, where the brain processes fear.
That's the official word, for people who like to have something a little more concrete than "because it feels good".
If you practise regularly, the benefits of meditation will promote a sense of calm and control, you’ll feel far more relaxed and happy. Your ability to concentrate will be greater. You won’t become stressed about things and you’ll feel more peaceful and relaxed about everything. One of the greatest benefits of meditation is learning to go with the flow and things that used to irritate you before simply become insignificant.
That next bit was something Jane found on a meditation website. Same basic thing, just less scientific. From Jane's point of view, which definitely tends toward the non-scientific, meditation is nothing short of amazing. Jane is a meditative newbie. She started for reasons that are obvious to any reader of this blog. And she started right from the most basic starting point, monkey chatter and all.
After struggling a bit Jane decided to see if YouTube might offer some guided meditation. Indeed, they did. Ten minutes, maybe more and maybe less. With a little experimentation to find the right voice and music that appealed, Jane got her jump start. Her opinion? Very good stuff.
And Jane believes that the articles do not exaggerate. She feels much calmer when she meditates regularly. Things that were a big deal are less of a big deal and if they soar to bigness once again she can regroup more readily. Jane found that along with the benefits already listed she got something else from meditation. Something that she hadn't expected.
What, what? Jane knows the readers are clamoring for her to reveal what she got.
Because, you know, when you quiet your mind and release the monkey chatter and relax into the moment you have nothing to hide behind. It is just you right then, just you and the beautiful energy that comes from whatever source you embrace. And it is joyful and it is peaceful and it is loving.
And it is life enhancing. Jane would say life changing, but some people don't want to be caught up in any kind of change. So she'll tell you with the certainty of one who has experienced it, that meditation is life enhancing.
Jane is going to take a moment now to go quiet her own monkey chatter. Inhale...exhale...ahhhh.
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