How do you respond when faced with a zing? Jane considers a zing to be an emotional hurt, but this term could apply to any aspect of your life. However you define it, a zing is a negative. So what is your response?
Well, when it comes to relationship issues and what Jane is experiencing, it's all too easy to wallow in the zing. Dwell on it. Allow it to fill the moment, the day, the heart, the essence. And since this is a negative, that means filling the moment, the day, the essence and the heart with negative energy. Jane chooses to avoid that.
Notice the word there? Chooses? Because as Jane has learned and shared here already, there isn't always much she can choose about what is happening in her life. But she CAN choose her response. So this is more of that kind of thinking. How to turn the zing into something positive and not something she pulls out each day to examine in careful detail. What Dick said, what Dick did...these are Dick's actions and his choices and he has to own them. He can examine them in careful detail, if he were inclined to...which he most certainly is not. But for Jane, the best way to handle these zings is to challenge herself.
Everyone's got their own range of options here. Jane chooses physical challenges and mental challenges and also is experimenting with creative challenges. This might sound like a lot, but she doesn't run around in a constant state of exploration. She's building her own strengths and deciding what works best. And because her situation is particularly overwhelming at times, she needs a good supply of challenges and successes.
It pleases Jane to set the challenge and meet it according to her own terms. For instance, starting the P90X Arms and Shoulders workout was in specific response to something that zinged her in a significant way. This workout is a significant challenge. She's doing well with it and every single time she lifts those weights she feels more and more powerful and the power grows greater than the zing. This works for Jane. It might not work for everyone, but it works for her.
The mental challenge comes from learning something new. Jane will be training this summer to achieve her Reiki Master certification. To prepare for that, she is reading and studying, reviewing and sending out a whole lot of Reiki energy. This is all about Jane, not about Dick and not about his choices. Again, that keeps Jane's focus on positive growth. Same thing with creative challenges. What hobby might be worth pursuing? What talent should be dusted off and explored again or encouraged as a new interest?
When you draw your attention back to yourself and then spread it outward in whatever new and interesting direction appeals, you are changing the negative into something far better. It is very hard to dwell on the source of your pain when you are filling up with so many other things. Positive things. Positive energy. And the act of doing those things will create more possibilities and bring them right into your life. But there has to be space for them...which is why you are pushing out the zings and making room for the good stuff.
Jane realizes this is an investment in herself. She also realizes that she is worth it. And you are, too.
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