Butterfly Jane

Or...the value of cocooning.

Cocooning defined as smothering or cocooning defined as sequestered in denial are not good. But cocooning defined as taking time to grow and change and emerge as a butterfly? Very good indeed. That's the type of cocooning that Jane endorses. Sometimes it's one long process and sometimes it comes in stages. A bit of exploration, a bit of time to consider. Maybe the butterfly retreats now and then, when that quiet time is needed.

Jane thinks that society comes at us with an all or nothing mentality that can be overwhelming. And along the way, quiet contemplation has become an antiquated notion. With the constant bombardment of noise and expectations, is it any wonder that we feel frazzled on occasion? In need of some comfort routines? Some self-nurturing?

Well, sure. Sometimes it's in response to emotional hurt. Sometimes it's work related or friend related or family related. The reasons don't matter. They are all valid. What matters is the need to cocoon and the ability to accept that need and to make it happen.

Jane's own cocooning ritual involves books of motivation, a favorite yoga routine and the comfort of a steaming mug of tea. If that doesn't do the trick, her dvds of Modern Family (seasons one and two!) and a cozy dinner of whatever she wants will leave her feeling nicely balanced. Yes, she does realize that watching tv does not count as quiet contemplation. But sometimes cocooning is about emotional growth and sometimes it's about good, refreshing laughter. At least in Jane's world it is.

Now if hearts have been broken and lives have been changed, cocooning takes on a new meaning. Ir provides a safe haven for a butterfly just stretching new wings. And there is nothing wrong with peeking out and trying the wings for a bit...and then drawing back to consider how that felt. Recovery isn't something that happens at the same time and the same pace for everyone. Cocooning is a way of honoring your own pace.

Not everything is instant in today's world. Not everything. So if you, like Jane, are in the process of growing new wings you can take comfort in your own cocoon. Be gentle with yourself and don't worry if the butterfly next door is flying out across the field already. You'll get there, in your own time and at your own pace. One day you'll stretch those wings and soar.

And even then you'll be glad for the shelter of your own cocoon.